Okay, so what exactly is casual dating?
A loose definition might tell us that it is two people having an agreement to be in the same place at the same time, enjoying an activity together for the purpose of getting to know one another better.
Sounds great, right?
It seemed to work great for my parent’s generation.
Still, I think my parent’s generation of the 70’s married way too young.
(My own parents were only 21. A huge part of me feels that this was somewhat idiotic.)
Anyway, I think there’s usually some awkwardness that comes with casual dating.
One half of the dating couple is clearly more into the other half.
How long should a casual date last?
What if you want out of a bad date and want out fast?
What if you want the night to linger?
Is my date feeling the same way I am, whether it be completely bored and uninterested or downright intrigued?
And then there’s the whole issue of what happens after you’ve gone out a few times.
What if one person is casually dating several people while the other is only being noticed by said datee.
Oh.
Well, hi there inequality and insecurity.
What about exclusivity?
I’ve always heard that things are starting to get serious at or soon after the third date.
I’ve always heard this from the guys who are doing the asking out.
In my mind and heart, that’s not nearly enough time to know that you want to get serious!
Personally, I plan on getting to know as many guys as possible.
Marriage is a big deal, and if I want to get married (which I think I do, but sometimes I’m not so sure) I want to make sure I’ve picked the best guy out there that thinks I’m the best girl out there!
I feel like exclusivity without a ring sends a clear message.
One that says, “Oh, well, I’m not ready to marry you, but you’re not allow to see anyone else, so all the power is in my hands, just where I want it to be.”
Um, how is that healthy?
Honestly though, I kind of hate casual dating because no one can seem to agree on what exactly it means.
I’m also not a huge fan of exclusive relationships, because you either break up or get married and both prospects are so painful and scary to me at this point.
So, if I had to pick one or the other, I’d pick casual dating.
Oh, here’s another fun facet of casual dating: when the guy starts casually dating your roommate, and she wants to tell you all about it after you and him have already casually dated him for a while.
See this post: https://itsmeandthemoon.wordpress.com/2011/04/16/a-saturday-sabbatical-bob-butthead-mike-marla-and-me/ for that fun piece of drama.
Basically, this post you are reading right now was inspired because my roommate was talking to me and my other roommates about their date last night.
On this super fun date, he took her to the exact same cool restaurant that he took me to not too long ago.
It was weird to hear about it.
Not because I’m madly in love with him, but because I know she really likes him and thinks that she is getting special treatment.
I don’t know how to handle this!
So come on, male and female readers, help me out.
How do you feel about this whole casual dating/serious relationship stuff?
Which option has worked better for you or has led to your happy marriage?
If you had a casual dating roommate situation like mine, what would you do?
Thanks in advance, readers!
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